


The Bane of Guilt

by AleXandra Danielle Paris (Fictionness)



Series: Reflections on the Past [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 11:59:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17508206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionness/pseuds/AleXandra%20Danielle%20Paris
Summary: Mrs Mulder Anguish.  Basically it's reflecting on the effects of her choices and where her life should go.  NO MSR, NO VIOLENCE, NO SWEARING.  Relationship that Mrs Mulder is in, e.g. with Bill, Cancerman, Mulder, Sam and the syndicate.





	The Bane of Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER:- All the characters and situations of the X-files television program are the creation and property of Chris Carter, and Fox Broadcasting and have been used without  
> permission. No copyright infringement intended. Please comment with thoughts, the good, the bad and the ugly.
> 
> SPOILERS:- Set in the Third season Episode Talitha Cumi (3x24)

Maybe she should call him when she got home. Tell him what little she had found out about the secrets. The ones Bill hadn't even told Fox. He had tried to tell him just before he died but his time had run short. She wondered what he would have told him  
\- the secrets of their past? Secrets he had chosen to forget, or had to no right to know.

She couldn't forget the smell of cigarettes. Fox had told her, that he called him Cancerman. She would be meeting him soon. Life was funny. How you could love somebody one minute then absolutely hate them the next. Maybe Fox should find out? The  
question was, *how*, who was going to tell him.

The one thing that *was* known, was that somebody had chosen Sam. It hadn't been her, but she couldn't be quiet sure it was Bill. The way he had hid his eyes whenever she had brought it up. He had eventually convinced himself that he had chosen Sam. For the moment Fox wouldn't known any other story.

It was amazing how Sam had held the family together. It was funny for a child to have such power. She and Bill had ruined their children's lives. They had been the ones involved with the syndicate. She had never been directly involved, but she knew about Bills involvement. She should have left him when she found out about it.

Fox had suffered after Sam was taken,and still suffered. Bill blamed him. He reasoned the Mulder name had to be carried on, that is why Fox hadn't been taken. If Sam had been a boy, his favorite child would be here now. Sure they loved Fox, but Sam had been more carefree, less troublesome.

Bill's plan hide the truth had been shot to pieces. Fox was trying to find the truth. It was something that had greatly angered Bill, till the phone call a few days before his death. And Fox didn't look like he was going to settle down and have a family soon. If anything their choices had scared him for life.

What would have happened if she had followed her heart? Would, Samantha be here? Would Fox still resent his own mother? Why was it the men in her life that she had loved, she now loathed? Because they were responsible for what had happened to her  
children. They had made her see that she to was responsible. She had hurt her children just as much as they if not more. Fox and Samantha were part of her, had come from her; how could she have done it.

She had left Bill before he could do more damage to Fox,but the damage had already been done. Why couldn't Fox stop his search? As a child he had had to know everything, he still did. Maybe if he promised to stop looking, she would be able to talk  
Cancerman or the Syndicate, into giving her back her baby girl. 

She remembered the men, even knew a few of their names. She couldn't tell her son, they would destroy him. Guilt, it was a hard thing to accept, but yet easy to dole out to others. Where was Sam? What were they doing to her? Would her children forgive her?

As it was, Fox had next to nothing to do with her. Maybe that was easier on both them. While Sam may have held the family together, she had destroyed it as well. That was life.

She stop the car outside the old summer house. She took a few seconds to pull herself together and walked through the door into a house she had never wanted to see again. Maybe she would still get Sam back. They had to talk no matter who called for the  
meeting. She went through the door. He was waiting, like a spider waiting for a fly to be caught in its web.


End file.
